


Red & Black in Any Other Form

by ngm



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman: The Animated Series, The LEGO Batman Movie (2017)
Genre: Almost Admission of Feelings, Almost Non-Con Oral Sex, Angst, Enemies to Lovers, Fellatio, Foes as Allies, Frottage, M/M, Oral Sex, Pining, Role Playing (sort of), Rutting, Sexual Tension, costume switch
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-14
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-10-31 13:10:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10900035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ngm/pseuds/ngm
Summary: Based on a drawing by @gayforbatjokes and the lousy degenerate mind of yours truly... Batman HAS to ally with the Joker in order to infiltrate a gang that the clown in cahoots with and the only way in, is disguised as Harley Quinn.Gonna be a multi-chapter event.





	1. Full of You

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Oh. My. Godddd..."

"Shut up. This is entirely circumstantial."

The Joker tipped his head to the side, his eyebrows still raised as he walked slowly around the Bat in red and black. The expanse of crimson and coal stretched over years-trained musculature and the clown was startled back to attention when he heard -- 

"Come? What? What did you say?" 

The Batman, who was dressed in a full 'OG' Harley Quinn costume let out a growl and tried to turn along with the fiendish looking villain, eyes narrowing beneath the thin mask as he studied the Joker right back. 

"I SAID. That this," The irritated vigilante gestured at his torso with a flared hand. "Is out of necessity. Nothing more. That you are willing to oblige me this TEMPORARY alliance... will work out to your benefit in the future." The shorter man murmured, squaring his jaw as he stared back at the clown. "WHAT. Stop it. You're being.... considerably more bizarre than usual." 

"Well..." The Joker needled, his grin radiantly large as he pressed his hands together and flicked his eyes deliberately over that body. "This costume has never really 'done' it for me before, you know?" A low chuckle began to erupt from his red lips and the Joker began to rub his hands together, unable to keep his smile from taking over his face and that laugh from becoming deeper and louder. "Wellll-he--he-heellllll... NOW--"

"Stop." Bruce boomed, holding up one hand and he stared down the other man, trying his best to look and sound as commanding as he did dressed all in black, with his pointy ears and his deceptive cape. But now... Now he looked like arm-candy. He looked fine as hell and for the few hours that this elaborate ruse would be in place, the Clown Prince of Crime was going to take full advantage. 

"See, ' _Stop, Mister J_ ', or ' _Stop, Booboo_ ' or ' _Stop_ , _Daddy_ , _no, harder_ ' would be more par or the course..." The Joker murmured, grinning against his hands; as if he could hide the foolish smile on his maw. And perhaps, maybe the last one had never been said, but why not throw it in there to mix things up for his Battycakes. 

"Ugh..." 

"Ohh... and come here, we need to get... natural."

That caused the Bat to scoff, hands on his hips in his 'natural', petulant sort of way and it definitely was the all black and the cape; as in this moment, all the Batman could muster was 'haughty'. 

"'Natural'?" The Batman rumbled, eyes still very much narrowed as he moved towards the other man. Surely, there had to have been some other way to go about this mission... but when the situation was posed there wasn't much that could be done to sway either party. "What is natural about _you_?" 

"Ohohohoh, now _YOU_ get to shut up... So, I get to call you ' _Harley_ ' too, eh?" The Joker couldn't stop his grin, couldn't help the little giggles that left him with his breath. 

Bruce made a noise, an exhaled breath from his nose. He didn't WANT to be called ' _Harley_ ', didn't want to pretend to be subservient to this madman and certainly didn't want to have to fawn over the taller man. 

"Oooh, never have I ever said ' _Boy, do I wanna ride that Harley'_ , until today, and trust me, there have been plenty of opportunities... but none so..." 

"Stop it, Mistah J." Batman snapped at him and the Joker took a few steps back, staggering as if stabbed, struck. 

"...You're gonna kill me in that get-up, Bats, I'm just sayin', this is how I _die_." The clown laughed, running a hand through his hair. "But, for now, business." And suddenly, the madman straightened, even going so far as to adjust his tie as he began to run down their routine. 

They were to meet the hoods from this Bludhaven gang and be escorted to their comprehensive hideout, the Joker would sit down with the head of the gang and 'Harley' would need to keep himself busy for a little bit--- This is where Batman would take his opportunity to hack into the database-- blah blah blah, stuff the Joker didn't REALLY care about and WHY the Bat did was beyond him. 

The clown took a seat, gesturing to the space around him and grinned up at the salty Batman in Harley-drag. What a treat this was. 

Car doors were slamming, several footfalls could be heard and the Joker's grin went wider as he curled a finger at the other man.

"Here they come, look natural!" He hissed, resisting the to shudder with excitement as the thick man sat down against his thigh, a wary look on his normally frowny face. 

"I'm pretty sure they'll know something's off..." Batman whispered, steeling his jaw before a little smile pursed his lips. 

"What are you talking about? They'll never suspect a thing." Came the response from the green haired man and his smile went wider as the small room they were in was entered by the small group of thugs. 

They were glanced at for a long moment, eyes narrowing before the Joker leaned forward and draped a hand over Batman's shoulder, then stroked his ungloved hand against the recently-shaved jaw. 

"Aww, baby, don't worry, I won't let them hurt you..." 

For one moment, those irritated blue eyes flicked to the clown and fixed him with such a stare of loathing and then, like a magic trick-- poof! -- That cheek was nuzzled back into his hand and the Bat smirked. 

"I know you'd never let anything happen to me, Puddin'..." That 'I'm going to get you for this' look narrowed in Bruce's eyes as he met the shocked green ones and then he saw it too. The game was on. This was going to be as engaging as actually fighting... Perhaps more complex but for now, the ruse was working. One of the other thugs cleared their throat and the Joker moved to stand, his henchman offering his hand to help him up. 

"Oooh, obliged my dear." The clown purred, pulling the other man up in turn. 

Oh, this might be TOO much fun. 

They were wordlessly escorted to a dark silver limo, the MO of the boss Joker was meant to meet with, the two men walking with tight smirks as the clown slid his arm around Batman's waist. He felt the thick man tense but there was no falter, no flinch in their performance. 

"Doin' beautifully." The madman managed to murmur, feeling infinitely smug as Batman let out an equally quiet scoff and continued to move with him. 

The door to the car was opened for them and the clown entered first with a flourish, not surprised to find the back seats already semi-occupied by two suited hoods. Okay, so at least these guys were going to be worth talking-- The Joker's eyes narrowed -- At. Not to. These were still not need-to-knows. 

His new Harley entered after and the green eyes lowered as he gestured to his lap and watched Batman's jaw tighten again. 

C'mon Bats, you gotta. You know you must if you want your precious data... As if the vigilante could read his thoughts, he stepped over one of the clown's thighs and sat down, heavily on his leg. 

Let him bear the weight then if he wanted to be like that. 

A soft groan left the Joker and he 'tsked' once, shifting slightly as his arm curled around the black and red waist and settled directly on that infuriatingly tempting bulge and smirked as Batman's other arm had to settle around the back of his neck. Looked like they'd done this before. Looked, what was the word? Natural. And again, the clown felt his dark knight tense, felt his whole body jolt and but no further reaction. Oh yeah? We'll see. 

"All right, boys, where do we begin?" The Joker barked out suddenly, shifting the man just a little more ON his lap, and spreading his pale fingers across the broad curve of what would be his hench's cock in an obvious display of dominance over EVERYONE in the vehicle while using his free hand to nudge at his own chin, left then right, cracking his neck loudly. 

This was... NOT going exactly as Bruce had planned. He'd been truly arrogant this time, to not account for the very rarely seen lascivious side of the Joker. And he should have. He knew better. The man, who seemed fey on a good day, seemed to really only turn on the charm around Batman... so why wouldn't he oblige this situation? 

But the man dressed as Harley Quinn couldn't do much about the precarity of his situation, nor could he do anything about the way he shifted both into that hand and back against the clown's narrow thigh. 

He could barely focus on what was being said, hardly able to keep his breathing steady as he felt those black-tipped fingers trace the outline of his dick, bold, brazen but light, almost reverent as they explored... Like they owned him. 

And right now... whether he liked it or not, the Joker did. 

Harley was utterly devoted to the clown, as much of a fool as he presently was. Bruce bit his tongue, sucking in a sharp breath as he was stroked to a fuller erection, though, for whatever selfish reason, the clown gratefully kept his palm firm, shielding two other hoodlums from the sight of a nearly entirely hard henchman. The incognito Bat dropped one hand at his side for support which was curled into a tight fist, the other draped across the Joker's shoulder, gathering up a handful of his coat. To the other men, it looked affectionate, surely.

In the defense of the 'other men', both had been steel-jawed, staring straight ahead at the eyebrows of the green haired man. Not even his wild, shifty eyes. Look at the brows, nod along. Focus on what he's saying, not on what he's doing. DON'T LOOK AT HIM FONDLING ANOTHER DUDE RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. DON'T. 

One of them was unable to resist, eyes flicking down to the idle stroke of one man's dick in another man's fingers. This hood, who had the benefit at least of tinted glasses managed not to blow an anxious breath out of his nose as he watched the two. This was some sick shit right here. Real... Ballsy, for lack of a better term. This... Harley Quinn seemed to really be trying to keep it together right now... but what kind of sick shit person would WANNA work for this dude? The hood's eyes narrowed a bit and he watched the bigger man's jaw tense, watched his hand clench on that shoulder, then looked back at the mildly smug look on the clown's face, one hand manipulating a dick, the other gesticulating about the ethics of killing a person during OR after a heist. 

What the godawful hell. 

The limo pulled down a long driveway, not that Batman was able to particularly focus, trying to gaze out the tinted windows but hardly able to keep himself from minutely grinding into the hand of this man he hated so much. This was bad... Well, technically, and if he was looking at it from a discerning point of view... It was *good*. It was tormenting sure, but it was also an incredibly flawless distraction. As the vehicle rolled to a stop, the two goons could be seen moving towards the door that was furthest away from the clown and his henchman. 

Batman let out a grunt as the other men scooted out of the vehicle, tensing as he went to move but felt the Joker's hand still him, firm, almost too firm on his groin. 

"Give us a second boys, eh? I've got something to take care of here..." He purred and there was no mistaking the tone of his voice, or the speed in which they fled, with just how hard they slammed the door shut. 

"I could kill you for this." The bigger man growled out, grasping the clown's shoulder too hard now, but still, his hips rutted up and Bruce let out a frustrated groan. 

"Oh, no you wouldn't, my darling..." The Joker replied, relenting his grip on the Bat's dick. "Besides... I was the one planning on _la petit mort_..." The clown breathed out, voice a tad bit huskier than usual. He helped his Batman, shoving him lightly into the seat he hadn't properly been in and was between his thighs the moment that Bat-ass touched the cushion.

Bruce shuddered at that tone, at the words, his gloved hands balled back into fists... It'd be very easy to stop the clown from touching him, from taking what he so clearly wanted. The vigilante swallowed, shifting in the seat enough to spread his legs wider and he watched the lanky creature find the seam of this stupid outfit and pry it down just enough to expose his shamefully hard cock. 

"Mmh, Harley, didn't know ya had it in ya..." Came the husky breath from the green haired man, not sparing a second to touch his mouth, again with this reverence, this worshipping, to the purpling tip of his Batman's dick.  

Naturally, that caused the Bat to growl, eyes lidded in infuriated lust as he watched those red lips wrap around his penis, watched those pale cheeks hollow, felt those long fingers that had boldly danced across his lap like they owned him palm his thighs. 

He could stop this. Bruce knew he could. He could wrap his hands around the Joker's throat and throw the man back. They were alone, there would be no REAL repercussions... besides his dick not getting sucked any further and the thought of his suddenly stopping made him groan; that got the clown's attention. 

The Joker lifted his head, almost off of that cock, lips still wrapped around tip of that dick he had been toying with earlier, pupils a bit wider than they usually were as he gazed up at that face-- he looked as if he was going to pull off entirely but somehow managed a smile and hunched his shoulders as he took the Bat's dick as far down his throat as he could. 

Of course, he would. 

Bruce's hands did move from the seat to the Joker's shoulders and finally to his hair, fingers clenching in the thick green mop... He could pull the clown off of him, he could strangle the breath of him... Or he could silence that foul mouth for once.

 The Batman swallowed, shifting further into the seat, more onto his shoulders as he pushed his hips up-- it wouldn't be long now, certainly not as his nemesis somehow let out a laugh at this and his throat closed around his dick. The Joker lifted his head and sucked in a noisy breath through his long nose as he slid his head back down, taking his Bat deeper this time and Bruce was undone. 

He could give no warning, but for how his hands fisted the Joker's hair, how his body tensed and froze taut for a moment before he jerked his hips up and let himself fall over the edge for once.

They sat like that for a few seconds, a temporary intimacy before the clown pried those hands from his hair and lifted his head, tongue already on his lips. 

"You need to drink more milk, sweetie." Came his hoarse murmur and he tucked his henchman's dick back into the still complimentary spandex pants. Bruce watched in a sort of peculiar awe, not speaking yet, just focusing on wiping the sweat from his brow and reclaiming his bearings and tipped his head to the side as the Joker opened the door to leave the vehicle. 

"--so be on your best behavior, Harley. Or you know what will happen." The green haired man smirked, carrying on a conversation they weren't having while glancing over his shoulder as he stepped out of the limo and held his hand unnecessarily out for his 'hench' to take. 

"Yes, Mista J." Bruce exhaled, a tiny smirk on his face as well as he was hoisted out of the vehicle. "I know." 

 

The two hoods who had been in the limo with them shifted to attention as soon as the black and red clad man got to his full height beside his employer (or lover? Is that what was goin' on there?) and then led the way into the big building, silent as ever. The Joker glanced back at the Batman, a wide grin on his face, then pointed at the two guys ahead of them and held up both hands defensively in a mock shudder, silently laughing at their discomfort. All Bruce could do was shake his head and allow his smirk to go wider, still buzzed from the impromptu fellatio... still unsure of how it would factor into his everyday life... but for now he was looking at this situation in a very 'Matches Malone' sort of way. In a... well, right now, he WAS the Joker's henchwench... And if he had to go full-in, then so be it. 

He watched the man in purple, gold, and green, watched his easy saunter. The way that he waltzed into this unknown building, possibly a comprehensive set-up without an obvious care in the world. Like he hadn't just had a dick in his mouth. 

The thought made Bruce bristle again and a small sensation of smugness hit him. The Joker really was a sucker for him, literally. 

Up a few flights of stairs then brought to a penthouse, Batman stayed a few steps behind the clown the entire time, able to focus on his surroundings this time; though it appeared this was where they would part ways. 

Two men who looked just shy of Bane's size stood before two large mahogany doors, arms crossed over their barrel chests. 

"All right, doll-face, be good." The Joker murmured, arms folded behind his back as he leaned towards his Batman in Harley-drag. He really shamed her in this costume and that was an understatement. 

"Yes, puddin'." Bruce murmured, leaning over to press his mouth to the clown's. He tipped his head to the side and reached up, cupping the Joker's jaw as he touched his tongue to the other man's and yes, he could taste his seed in that mouth. He pulled back with a smirk, a matchably devious look in his eyes as he stared down the Joker. Two could play this game. 

It worked too. The clown looked dazed, blinking twice before he licked his lips. 

"Give me one more of those, Harl." He rumbled out and Batman felt his face heat up just a touch as he put another peck on those red lips. "Mmh, good boy." The Joker purred, licking his lips again, his grin damn near radiant. "Don't forget to be good, or you'll get a spanking later." 

"Oooh." 

The other hoods in the room were visibly uncomfortable, despite what was sure years of being trained through tense and despicable situations... THIS one was a little too much. These two... openly mushy guys. Ugh. 

But it was working. It was working beautifully and Bruce allowed himself a grin as he folded his arms behind his head and paced in a big square around the room. None of the hoods would look at him. Ah, this WAS good. 

"Say... I gotta use the little boy's room..." The man did his best Harley drawl, sauntering over to the hoodlum closest to the door of the penthouse they'd entered through. "Wanna show me the way?" 

"Not really no. Head outta here, back down to the main level and it's the washroom before dining room." 

"Aw, you're a doll!" Bruce murmured, reaching up to pat the man's cheek-- the man who leaned away with a little noise and pushed the door open so the Joker's hench could get the fuck outta his face. 

As soon as he was out of the door, Batman's body language instantly changed. He moved a fraction faster, eyes narrowed as he surveyed his room. Intel told him that he needed to get to the computer in the room that the Joker was presently in, but that there might be an alternative server he could get into. 

Instead of heading down, the Bat headed up, sure to keep himself out of the sight but also sure to move with speed. He had a thumb drive in the sole of his left boot, had a plan of action that could be executed in less than seven minutes, should the Joker live up to his part of this deal and draw out his conversation with this truly mediocre boss in the grand scheme of things. 

Two minutes down, five left to get to this room, get the data and get back down the three flights he'd climbed. No problem for Batman, even in this form fitting outfit. It was, however, a little odd, how stealthy it actually was, how liquid he felt under just spandex and no armor. 

But being Batman, this only took the man in red and black six minutes, for posterity, he even did a handspring, smirking to himself that, if the Joker had seen his little pirouette before hand and move, he'd surely be praised. 

Not that it mattered. 

Red and Black in any other form, Batman rapped on the door with a 'shave-and-a-hair-cut', knowing that 'Mister J' would certainly appreciate that; setting a smirk on his lips as the door was opened and conveniently, moments later the larger doors at the end of the penthouse were pulled open. Bruce watched the clown, watched how loose and animated he was with the also smiling boss-- he watched the Joker glance to him, saw how his body language changed instantly. Proud. Standing at his full height. A more of a saunter, a swagger. 

Did the Joker  _love_  him? 

The thought struck him as a deep possibility and Bruce tipped his head to the side, a coy smile replacing his smirk and he wiggled his fingers in a very familiar Joker-esque gesture to the man he was meant to adore for the moment. 

The green haired man's eyes pierced him and he wiggled his fingers back in a little wave, moving swiftly towards his temporary hench. 

"Ya miss me?" The Joker tittered, curling an arm around Batman's waist and leaning into him. "Did you get it?" He hissed in a whisper, leaning in to press a kiss to the other man's cheek. 

"You know I did," Was the chipper, but double-entendre'd reply and Batman tipped his head against that white one to offer more cheek as he draped an arm across those purple shoulders. "Are we ready to go, puddin', I'm hungry..." Came his surprisingly good whine and his eyelids lowered as he gazed through his eyelashes at the clown, pouting. 

It was incredibly well played, awfully distracting and surely a look that the Joker would have a seriously hard time getting out of his head. 

"You're always hungry, my big boy..."

Along the walls, the hoods who had already been exposed to these weirdos were already looking off, studying their guns, their knuckles, their shoes, the floor, the light fixtures, whatever else; but from behind the two almost cuddling men, the boss cleared his throat and both the Joker and Batman tipped their heads to glance at him. 

"Who's that?" 

"Not your probably, sweetie. Are we done here, Sir Spence?" The Joker spoke the last part of that sentence a bit loudly, dropping his arm from around his hench's waist and walked back up to the man. 

"Spen-cer. Not Sir Spence. Spencer. Like the actual name, Jesus." The be-buzzcutted red-headed man rumbled with an irritated shake of his head. The man palmed his mouth, peering at Bruce, eyes flicking nastily over him and then his attention went back to the clown. "You ever part with this one?"

"Sir Spence de Jesus Aleman. My apologies. Nononono, this one is my top henchwench. My numero uno. Off the table, mon frere..." There was a syrupy tone that the Joker adopted for this, stepping between the red-haired man and his line of vision to the Batman in disguise. "He is **mine**." 

"Hmm." 

"Hmm indeed! Say, did we shake on this yet, Lord Spence?" The clown tittered, fingers wiggling suddenly as both hands slipped into his front jacket pockets and quickly back out. 

Oh no. _No no_. The Batman took a step back, trying to keep the apprehensiveness from his posture, he knew what was coming... Well, possibly. 

"Mistah J--"

"Quiet, Harley!!" He held out his hand, his grin too wide, his brows too low and looked down the length of his long nose at the other man. You want to die, my friend? 

" _Mistah J._.." The voice was hot and suddenly in his ear and incredibly distracting. 

"Ehhh?" 

Bruce reached out and ran a hand down that purple arm, over his hand and slid the buzzer ring from the clown's finger as he nosed his ear. 

"I said I was _hungry_..." 'Harley' purred and the clown bristled, a sort of stupid smile crossing his lips. What was he doing again? 

He blinked back to reality, at the dumbfounded looking redhead and whipped his head to the Batman, their eyes locking. I see what you did, Bats... Fool me once! The Joker's wry look was met with a smirk and his henchman took a step back, watching the pale man shake what would be a dead man's hand before they were released for the penthouse. 

They followed the other hoodlums out silently, the Joker's hand in his coat pockets again, fingering the ring that Batman had stripped him of-- and said Bat watched, knowing that there was certainly going to be some backlash for halting the clown's fun but he would NOT just stand there and watch the madman roast another person-- even if it meant he had to play this game a little harder. 

The limo door was once again opened for the two guests of this house but the two already jaded hoods shook their heads 'no' as the Joker glanced at them. 

"Aww, come on boys! Where's the  fun?" He entered the car none-the-less and slid back into the seat he'd just sucked a cock from. Hmm, still smelled thick of sex in here too. Oh, how delightful... The clown sighed, leering at the open door, already eager for the Bat to rejoin him. 

This was a lot more fun than he'd anticipated... Certainly, he'd expected to push it a little... and to have Bats yield so easily was even more than he'd bargained for... but it WAS working and it was more than thrilling. It felt, what was that word? Natural. 

Mm.

Batman sat in the seat beside the clown, glancing around the cab of the limo as the door shut and then appeared to relax a little as the vehicle started to move. 

"Everything went accordingly?" The vigilante rumbled the question, not able to quite look at the other man. There very likely wasn't any surveillance in this car, even so, he'd let himself get sucked off in the back of this thing, what did it matter now?

"Mmhmm, sure did! Though, that cheeky ginger rude boy needs to consider his options a little better. Having a few dozen henchmen and a nice big house doth not make a proper villain." The Joker tittered, holding out his arm and tilting his head towards the Batman. 

"You're pushing your luck." The thick man hissed but scooted a little bit closer, shoulder against that arm. 

"I'M pushing MY luck? You ' _Mistah J_ ' me RIGHT in the ear and then de-buzzer my finger? Come on, my darling, _you're_  the one playing with fire." Was the haughty response, but the grin on the Joker's face was big and broad, made his cheeks look extra round. Like he was genuinely pleased. 

"I'll ' _Mistah J'_ you as often as I need to, in order to make sure you don't kill anyone on my watch and at least secure us a ride back to Gotham, or would you rather I ' _puddin'_ you?" Was the rumbled clap back and the Batman allowed himself another smirk at the way the pet name made the clown prince bristle. 

"He deserved to die, in my defense." The Joker growled out suddenly, brow furrowing. "How dare he..."

The Batman stiffened a little, eyes narrowing beneath that mediocre mask and he looked at the man at his side.

"Why. What is he doing that warranted such an extreme reaction?" Batman asked flatly, the slight nausea of reality setting back in and he craned his head to look at that pale, frowning face. 

"Didn't you _HEAR_ him?!" The Joker barked, unwinding his arm from around those big shoulders and got to one knee on the seat beside the incognito-Bat. "Didn't you see the way he **looked** at you?!" He climbed atop the bigger man, fisting the spandex suit before he realized what he was doing. "And you're... _my_ hench...man."He murmured, releasing the fabric and patting it back into place, an almost sheepish look on his face for a fraction of a moment before a nasty smile crossed his lips again. "At least, until we get home."

"Joker." There was that low voice, that music and the gloved hands went to that waist and pried the man from his body once again... Not that... he entirely wanted to. "I appreciate that you didn't roast him. I do."

The clown scoffed, sliding back into the seat he'd climbed out of, arms petulantly crossed over his chest. 

"Oh, do you now, how much?" He scoffed, his own version of a pout on those painted lips-- it was almost odd NOT to see him smile. 

"Too much, _Puddin'_..." The Batman murmured, leaning over to tip that pointy chin towards his and he pressed another kiss to the man's mouth. No tongue this time, but he spent maybe an indulgent moment longer against those wicked lips. When he pulled back, he draped his arm over the back of the seat, as the clown had done to him and found the slightly taller man scooting into the space he offered. 

"That wasn't _too much_ , by the way. It was closer to _just enough_." The green haired man murmured quietly after a good minute or two of silence, craning his head to glance at the Batman, who was staring off ahead, sort of almost smirking. 

"It was enough." 

 

The limo pulled to a stop and the two didn't pull apart until the clown shifted towards the door, eyes meeting those big blue ones beneath that little Harley mask and he let out a chuckle as they were greeted by the driver letting them out. 

No words, until after the vehicle peeled away; Batman had two fingers pressed to his ear over the hood of the costume, nodding and murmuring a 'Yes, got it, send the car' before his attention was drawn to the idling madman. 

"So, how'd you like being my henchwench?" 

One eyebrow arched beneath the mask and the Batman scoffed, folding his hands together and stretching them away from his body until his shoulders popped. 

"I think I'm going to turn in my cape and cowl and go full time." He smirked, thinking for a moment about their... moment in the limo and a pang of anxiety hitting his gut as he wondered if he fondled and kissed and fornicated with the ACTUAL Harley Quinn. 

"Oooohoohohohohoooo..." The Joker howled at this, clutching his side as he guffawed at the idea. "Oooh, Sugar, I'd find a way to make it paying job, scout's honor!" 

The Batmobile conveniently remotely pulled up to the front of the safehouse they'd not yet entered and the incognito Bat took a few steps towards his vehicle and the roof slid open. 

"So soon? Don't I get one more kiss, toots?" 

Bruce scoffed at that, glancing at the other man and shook his head with another wry look. His lips still tingled. His loins still ached. This had to end here but even the cheeky son of a bitch that was Bruce Wayne couldn't keep himself from kissing two of his fingertips and blowing the gesture towards his nemesis. 

"Until next time, _Puddin'_..." 

Naturally, the Joker made a great big show of catching the kiss, a fool's grin on his face as he watched the bastardized version of his hench wench get into the Batmobile and drive away into the night. 

"Indeed, my darling!! Indeed!!" 

 

\- - - 


	2. Hotter than Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Furious with himself over the dressed-as-Harley debacle, Batman confronts the Joker the first opportunity he gets to get some payback and throw him into jail to keep him out of his hair.  
> Unfortunately, he needs to get more data on the gang in Bludhaven and he needs the clown's assistance.

Batman frowned at his console, brows furrowing as he stared at information-- He knew what he was reading, he knew what it meant... but the words looked foreign, the lines were blurring. He had to remove his glasses and rub at his eyes...

Goddamnit. 

He needed the Joker again but he was too furious. Too angry. Too belligerent. He had let the other man move too fast, too close, too natural with him and it had left a dark mark on his psyche. Bruce was not pleased with how he'd let himself go; how that red and black mess had allowed him to yield so readily, to give and take... and give some more. 

Did he really want this? Did the mere thought make the blood flow quickly from his limbs, make him feel almost numb except at his nigh-perfect core, make his heart race a little faster? Did it make him flush with something that was both desire and anxiety? 

Why did it have to be _him_? Why did it have to be so easy to fall into sync with someone so... ill? So sick? Why didn't he just strangle the other man and push him away in that limo? Why did he have to lean up for that kiss... 

The black haired man let out a growl, palming his head in frustration then spun in his computer chair, storming away from the console and off to get suited up. 

\- - -

It wasn't but a few days before the Joker was back to his usual antics, another overly orchestrated robbery of a pet store, all of the fish. Again, with the fish? 

Batman shook his head for the fraction of a second it took for him to decide to plummet down to the ground and take out the three Joker-goons rushing around with tied bags filled with fish and water. 

"WHAT ARE YOU FOOLS DOIN-- Well of course. Of _course._  " The Joker hissed, eyebrows raised but eyes narrowed at the pile of henchmen crumpled to the ground and the man in black standing statuesquely over them. "What the hell are **YOU** doing here?" 

"I could ask you the same thing, Joker." The slightly shorter man rumbled, shifting into a defensive pose, hands already in fists. 

"Honey, look around you. I am liberating these imprisoned Catostomus Occidentalis, I don't see how this is even on your radar..." 

The Bat's forehead crumpled beneath his mask and he peered at the bags of fish wobbling on the asphalt, then back at the clown. 

"What is so funny about sucker fish?" Came his murmur and he resisted the urge to put his hands on his hips as he leered at the green haired man. 

"What isn't, I mean you of all should know what is funny about suck--" The Joker was cut off by a Batarang clattering towards him slicing through the air and embedding itself into the pet store's exterior. 

"This is beneath you," The desire to exhale ' _Mistah J_ ' afterward was sudden, surprising the Bat enough to reflexively cause a growl to rumble out of his mouth. No. That whole thing had been torturing him, it'd been too intense and too intimate and the Joker had gotten way too deep in his head. What kind of man needed to fantasize about getting blown by someone he hated to reach climax? 

"You know what else was beneath m--?" Again, cut off, but this time with a leaping kick to the face and the Joker staggered back, a laugh leaving his lips as his touched a hand to his mouth, brow then furrowing as he pulled back his gloved hand and found it covered in crimson. 

Ah, we are back to familiar playing ground, huh. 

It took little to no effort to seek a knife, a BIG one, unsheathing it from his underarm holster and cackling as it caught the moonlight. This the game we are playing tonight, eh? Fine. So be it, you make me bleed? I'm gonna make it rain your blood, Bats.  

They stopped talking at this point, which was unusual-- Typically the Joker had something to say, a reason to run his mouth, but there was a focus in his eyes, almost an unfamiliar sort of determination-- and the Batman was eager to welcome it. He was more familiar with this dance than the borderline nightmare he'd found himself waking from daily since the evening that he'd attempted to and apparently did pass as Harley Quinn. 

Even thinking about being in the outfit and what came with it made his skin prickle beneath his suit, he felt flushed, then suddenly clammy and lunged at the Joker in response, catching his jaw with his fist, then his stomach, knocking the man further away from him. It was so much easier to justify putting his hands on the clown like this, rather than the kisses. 

So many... stupid, foolish... unnecessary kisses. So many that HE'D initiated. 

Another roar-like growl left the Bat and he leaped after the clown, only to be caught with the knife in his bicep, then, a superficial slash to his abdomen and the acrobatic villain managed to handspring back to his feet, adjusting his coat as he wiped more blood from his nose and mouth. 

He wanted to say something catty, to hiss something rude, but the Joker's tongue stung of bile and he saw only red. 

What was this, ah? This was how he was repaid for being such a fine host? For being such a wonderful, if not temporary ally? For being such a generous lov-- Ehh... maybe he deserved it though... and the clown started laughing suddenly, whirling just out of the aggressive Bat's grasp once again. This WAS funny, wasn't it! Even the way his body ached, throbbed along with his likely misaligned nose, his soon-to-be-bruised face, this was a riot! 

And of course, the laughter only drove Batman further into the darkness of his rage, pulled him deeper towards the fury of madness that had been coursing through him. Another leap at the clown and he caught the man in purple, slamming him down, battering him over and over with punches until the laughing stopped and the lanky creature lifted his arms, finally, in defense. 

THAT was when the Bat ground to a halt, panting, staring down at the man beneath him, somehow still smiling from behind the criss-cross of his arms. The Batman sat back on his heels, ignoring the heat beneath him, almost numb to it as he went for his cuffs, staring at the white and red and blackened face. 

How was he still smiling? 

Bat-Cuffs unclinked from wherever they lived in the Bat-Utility belt and suddenly the laughing resumed, the clown, looking well busted, blood on his teeth began to cackle. He had no plans on going to jail right now--- no he had plans beyond this and the Bat must be truly out of his mind if he thought it was going to be that easy... and right now the Batman was. He'd find a way into the hideout without the clown. He didn't need him. He didn't NEED him. HE DIDN'T.

"Second one from the middle, right?" The Joker murmured suddenly voice quite hoarse, unbuttoning and sliding into the little pocket of Batman's utility belt to seek one of the tiny bombs that Batman used to so frequently employ. 

"Wh--" 

The smoke bomb went off with a 'fffwwwshhhh' sound and Batman began to cough, recoiling and fanning the smoke away as the Joker made his escape. Bruce attempted to go after the clown, but the gas compound crept beneath his cowl; stinging his eyes and curling into his lungs. He used his cape to clear his surroundings but found the green haired menace was gone and... maybe that was for the better. 

 

\- - - 

 

It had been two days since his last encounter-- as Batman with the Joker. Perhaps... he'd gone a bit overboard with his fury than was appropriate but in his defense, the clown had pushed a very selective series of buttons on Bruce Wayne and certainly gotten a reaction. Or five. 

His street fight with the Clown Prince had ended with him having to loom around and wait for GCPD to pick up the felled clown-masked goons before he could disappear into the blackness of the night and brood on what had gone down. 

Bruce didn't feel as angry... that was for certain... But he also didn't feel right yet. There was still something significantly... off about how he was interpreting this temporary alliance. Even more, he felt the freshly familiar yearning, an eagerness even still to see the Joker, to find his clown... And so the red and black costume was pulled back on. The white powder delicately applied. Barely any red around the lips, but enough to be noticeable and Bruce stared at his own reflection, at this new version of Batman, this devout, loyal sidekick. 

_Who needed to find their Mista J._

Armed with a black and red Smallville Slugger Baseball bat, the broad man in spandex decided after the days he'd spent tracking the likely whereabouts of the Joker, that he'd have to be both expeditious and cunning, as cunning as he could comparatively be to the madman in order to take care of business. 

Somewhere, in his deeply troubled mind, 'take care of business' had an entirely different connotation than what the billionaire was deluding himself to-- first though, he had to find the Joker. Find the Joker, test the water... go from there. 

It wasn't as if he was more consumed than he usually was the madman. 

It wasn't as if he'd been furious at himself for allowing this than he was at the clown for taking what he didn't know was his... 

But it was, wasn't it? Harley was his and... Ughhh.. 

The thought made the grip on the decorative bat tighter, caused the vigilante's jaw to tighten in discomfort. 

Bruce really hadn't allowed himself to wonder about the dynamic of the relationship between the madman and his henchwench... but it was very clear to him that there was some level of liquid intimacy... something that could trickle down even to him... That was part of the game. So the Batman would play it right back, he'd do what he could to make it just as... intense for the Joker as it was for him. 

Finding the safehouse was no problem, planting himself on the roof and pacing wasn't so much of an issue... it was more of the, looming over the skylight, leering down at the blur of green that was below. The problem was getting the clown's attention... 

*tap-tap-ta-tap-tap* -- on the frame of skylight and Bruce smirked as he watched the shape of that green blur move, walk closer and then disappear. 

Worked like a charm, didn't it; now he waited, surely not for long. 

 

The door to the roof kicked open, a gun hanging in the Joker's right hand as he whirled around to be greeted by nothing-- nobody, just yet. But, whoever it was KNEW he couldn't resist the call of the 'shave and a haircut'... 

"Two-biiiiitssss..." The clown called out, looking around, almost wary but he still felt sore and salty from his encounter with the Batman. Whatever fool dared to mess with his precious plotting time would find the blunt end of his pistol in their face before a few well-placed holes... 

"Who ya callin' ' _Two-bit_ '?" Came the low rumble of a very familiar voice and a Batman dressed in a full Harley Quinn outfit stepped out of the shadows, arms folded casually over the baseball bat laying across his wide shoulders. 

The gun clattered to the rooftop, the clown's mouth falling open as he stared over at the other man. 

Aw shit, this couldn't be good. 

As the Joker scrambled to retrieve his pistol, the man in red and black closed his distance, standing inches from the madman, now leaning on the bat with both hands. 

"Aww... Puddin'... who did this to you?" The sound of the wooden weapon hitting the roof sounded almost artificial and green haired man hunched as his face was cupped, still staring at the other in bewilderment. 

"Hhh..." 

"Batman, that sonofabitch I bet..." Bruce pouted out, eyes lidded as he surveyed his own handiwork. He really had done a number on the clown, skin still mottled and purple at his jawline, lower lip still cut despite being coated in lipstick, a few other cuts here and there... Little bits of evidence of their last encounter. 

Before the Joker could muster a response, those red-tinted lips were on his skin, pressing at that bruise on his jaw-- another followed it along with a noise that stayed in Batman's throat as he laid his mouth apologetically on the clown. He couldn't help it and as part of his mind strongly revolted against it, the petty, selfish part didn't want to stop indulging himself. 

Indulging the Joker. 

Can you feel this? Do these kisses burn your skin? Do they set you aflame? 

"That... bastard..." Came his next exhale, lips on the Joker's, it was his turn to take what he needed. Forget about what he wanted. His brain had been firing through scenario after scenario, what was could he overwhelm this man without having to beat him to death because frankly that didn't fucking work. 

A groan broke past that captured mouth and the Joker's hand moved to the one's on his face, then quickly to the other man's jaw, the back of his head-- The clown genuinely, for once, wanted to be torn. He wanted to be on the fence about this, about the Batman but... _this was his kind of crazy_ and the taller man couldn't stifle a choked laugh as he pressed forward, pressed into the other man. 

His Batman wanted to be his wench so badly... 

"Look what he did to your booboo..." The Joker breathed against the other's mouth, eyes barely open as he stared into the man. 

Bruce 'tsk'd' and shook his head once, their noses touching, his eyes flicking over that face before being locked back into that tractor beam of a green gaze... and then he bit at the Joker's bottom lip. 

"I'll make it all better, puddin'..." The vigilante's eyelids fluttered shut before he eagerly took another kiss, capturing the noise of the Joker's voice breaking as he heard the 'puddin' leave Batman's mouth. This man might be more insane than he was, well, that had been a hotly debated topic... but this... this might just take the cake. 

The clown's hands moved to cup that strong jaw, that hated face and he shuddered as he felt it slip from between his fingers; eyebrows raising as he watched the other man paw down his torso, kneeling at his feet. 

"...Hm?" It was a high-pitched, maybe too high-pitched exhale of surprise, those dark brows furrowing as he stared at the other, not putting the pieces together until he felt Batman's heavy hand's on his belt. 

"Did he get you here, Mistah J?" Bruce tongued the roof of his mouth, smirking at himself as he felt the other man's dick jump at the mere graze of his touch. Maybe the Joker did really want him just as badly. He had to, didn't he? Would he want this as badly if he were just... Batman? Or worse even, Bruce? 

The thought of Bruce Wayne yielding on his great big bed for the Clown Prince of Crime to befoul and defile made his blood feel hot in his veins and the 'disguised' Batman was suddenly more diligent, more eager to see just how much the madman desired him. 

Do you need me too? 

The answer was a resounding yes and Bruce had to hold back a noise at, not the strained dick so suddenly near his face, but that it was cloaked in Batman print boxers. 

Maybe he did. 

"Really...?" Came the tilted voice and the man on his knees ALMOST sounded like himself before a smirk settled on his lips and he glanced up at the woozy-looking clown. 

"Ehh... I'm a fan." The Joker managed to exhale, holding onto the broad shoulders that were presented to him--- his legs felt weak all of a sudden. 

"But he's a jerk..." Bruce murmured against that logo'd prick, lips grazing the very proud flesh that he had not yet unveiled.

"But he's _my_ jerk..." The Joker exhaled in response, eyes shutting for a moment as his hands went to that head and felt the curls of the Jester's hood and not the Bat ears he wanted so badly... Oh, this was all so terrible and confusing and nasty and wonderful. 

"How do you know if he even likes you..." Those blue eyes shut as he focused on pressing his lips against the curve of the other's dick, tracing the underside of the crown of that surely cretinous prick. 

"I..hh.ah.." The Joker smiled at that, brows lowered as he was able to glance down at that flatline mouth nibbling against his penis through one of his favorite pair of boxers. "I have a hunch... haha..!" 

Bruce let out a breath through his nose, a huffed sound as he opened his mouth around the black silk and wet the fabric of those boxer shorts, sure as hell that he was a sight for sore eyes-- he could feel his face flushing, he could feel how hard his own dick was under this spandex.... and the Joker was just so ready to give it to him. No protests, no exclamations. 

"Do you want me?" Bruce blurted out against the tip of the other's cock, swallowing the extra saliva that had accumulated eagerly in his mouth. His eyes were still shut, hands still braced on those hips. 

"Like you have no idea." The Joker growled out, his voice several octaves lower than it usually was. 

"Show me." The vigilante murmured, voice low as well as he shifted, eyes flicking open and up to those distracting green ones as he drew the clown's prick out of the opening of the front of those Bat-boxers and finally touched his near molten tongue to that taught flesh. 

It earned a choked gasp from the taller man, a bewildered look crossing his face as he stared down at his dick disappearing into that mouth. 

How could this be? How could this be happening? Who the hell was he to even be asking questions? He was a man of the moment! And this one was sure to be cherished and revered for as long as his memory would permit.  

No time was wasted, no action spared as the taller man ground himself forward, pushed his hips against those powerful, pummeling fists as he tried to push himself deeper into his Batman. Anyway, anyway he could. 

"Hhnh..." There was a wicked, but focused smile on the Joker's face, hands cupping and grasping that red and black hooded head as he endeavored to fuck the Batman's mouth... Oh, he'd take a beating every other hour if the turnaround was this... 

Bruce couldn't even growl around the other man, his focus split between breathing and holding the other man back from essentially mounting his head-- but he didn't stop the clown and again, he could have. As they fell into their naturally aggressive rhythm, the vigilante found himself idly distracted by what HE liked when getting blown, what drove him nuts and he managed to iron-grasp those pistoning hips and pull his already abused mouth from the already-near climax dick; relishing in the broken breath of a whine that left the Joker. His lips were flushed, red lipstick smudged against his face as he stared up, eager to lie back, to let the slight man back into his mouth. 

"Fuck my thr--" 

"Oh GODDAMNIT" The clown wailed,  cringing through his smile as he helplessly began to ejaculate-- it wasn't all that inexplicable really, he was staring down at his saliva-wet cock leaving the Batman's mouth and though it would have been incredible to oblige the other and sink back into the absurd heat of his throat, there was something a little hit funny about watching the shock hit the vigilante's face, along with the spatter of cum. 

There was a hardly a moment to be stunned before the clown started to laugh, his mouth having fallen open at the sight and quickly his hands moved to wipe away the mess he'd made, almost affectionate rather than letting it sit there like a sticky, cooling insult. 

The man clad in red and black sat stunned, back on his haunches-- the way the Joker's face had contorted as he came burning his pupils, making him ache... He'd barely touched the man like he'd wanted to and so quickly he'd been wound up and knocked down. 

"Can you blame me?" The green haired man breathed, still cupping Batman's near perfect jaw... Oh man, how unsurprising was it, really, that the vigilante could play the skin flute like that. 

"I could..." There was that Batman voice again and the Joker's smile went wider and fonder, leaning down to take a kiss.

"No kidding..." -- and then another, and another, getting tucked back into his boxers at some point but he didn't know when or by who. 

By the time they broke from their sudden round of making out, the clown was on his knees and being pushed to sit back on the rooftop, not far from his pistol but not bothered with any need for it, only interested in whatever this crude version of Harley-- ick, this fool-version of Batman wanted. 

He watched, eyes drawn to the absurd outline of dick on the black-side of the costume and the Joker bristled a little, what an alluring sight... Look at how eager this version of his Batman was for him. It was so easy to forget that the repercussions for this kind of intimacy would be more like a few nights ago, outside of the pet store than like anything else.

But, live for the moment, eh? Maybe they'd both be dead by tomorrow! Hell, he was on the road to having heart failure as the thick man straddled his lap, as those black and red arms wrapped around his shoulders and grasped him. 

Ever the observer, the Clown Prince of Crime watched the Batman's mouth, glanced at his eyes, the way he seemed so focused on his slow, steady rut. It was almost as if the other man was intoxicated, drunk on desire and he was ever so ready to oblige... But how to get the vigilante to do this ALL the time, that was the heart of the matter. How much reverence could a man put into getting fellated, how much he do without having to say? 

He wanted to breathe out 'Bats', get those eyes to harden and stare back at him... but why? Why, when in this moment, he had the object of all of his twisted desires straddling him, trying to climb towards his climax with friction alone... Was it true? Did the Dark Knight want him so badly that even this would suffice? 

The real fear was breaking this incredible spell, was dashing the man away from the place in his head where he'd okay'd this behavior, where he'd justified it and didn't allow the cold, callous cowl to fall back into place and scatter all of the hopes of... whatever this was. Whatever it was surely going to manifest into. 

The Joker shuddered as he stared back at the man who was moments from his own filthy orgasm and he idly wondered what it was like to clean semen out of spandex... or maybe it just went right through, who knew?! The thought made him smile but looking at the man who was now clenching his shoulders, quick, growly breaths puffing from his open mouth as he shoved harder made the smile fall-- he was too handsome. This was too gorgeous and the clown was too easily shoved onto his back, arms outstretched as he was dry fucked. It really was overwhelming... to watch that body flex and thrust, to watch what as usually protected by armor twist and contort, so very accented by the black and red. 

Bruce was nearly gone, in a haze of lust and eagerness as he tried, over and over to find the right position, to shift himself just perfectly, to get the friction right where he needed... It was a challenge and he could feel his muscles aching with the repetitive motion; distracted and drawn closer to coming while clenching against this man... He hated the Joker so much... He hated everything about him-- the way he walked, the way he dressed. The way he gesticulated. The way he let the words drip from his hated mouth. The way his hateful, evil eyes stared into him like they could see through the mask, through the cowl, like he knew all of his dark, awful secrets... 

"Hhhaa..." 

Why did this have to feel so good? Why...? Why did it have to be the Joker? Was it the taboo? Was it the 'wrongness' of it all? 

The vigilante shoved forward harder, hands shaking where they had grasped the clown's shoulders and he rolled his whole body closer, back arching, pressing hard into the lanky man, pinning him by his pelvis to rooftop, his hands seeking the man's wrists and pinning him entirely. 

Eyes sliding open, just a fraction was all that the disguised Batman needed to see in order to be thrown over the edge. The sight of the Joker, gazing up at him, pinned, prone, stunned by lust and desire but moving with him, matching his every motion, still intertwined in this horrible dance. 

Bruce came with a silent roar, his back arching, shoulders hunched, chin to his chest as he clenched his hands around the Joker's wrists, felt his abdomen clench and couldn't tear his eyes away from the clown's face. He couldn't look from the handsomely stunned look on that pale face, the surprised 'oh' of his red lips... 

I hate you... I hate you so much for making this have to happen... 

Panting was the only noise, as the heavier man settled against the body beneath him, not yet willing to pull back and see what a mess he'd made. That was Alfred's problem. No. He still had a mission to accomplish and as the Harley-dressed Batman shifted just a fraction closer, he lay his cheek against the Joker's opposite one.

"I need you." Came the hoarse whisper and the Joker tensed, hands still pinned. Hell, he wasn't going anywhere even if he were on fire. 

"Eh?"

"I need to get back into Jogurtti's headquarters... I need more information..." Was the next whisper and he felt the man under him un-tense. "Tomorrow night, 2100." And though it was the gravelly Batman growl, it was followed with a light kiss to the clown's jaw. 

The Joker didn't move as the other man rose, didn't shift a muscle as he heard the bat get picked up, nor did he do anything when he heard the bullets being removed from his pistol. Hell, he had more. 

At the moment, he was trying to take this new level of Hell in, knowing that despite the spite constantly boiling in his belly, he would oblige the Dark Knight. 

And when he did finally sit up, when he was sure that the vigilante had fled, it was with a little nose wrinkle that he noted that semen did indeed travel through spandex. 

HA!!! 

Well, who the hell was gonna clean this, though?

 


End file.
